19th September, 2025

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Devotional

The Elder Brother Syndrome: When Grace Feels Unfair

“And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found’” (Luke 15:31—32). Read Luke 15:11—32).

By Paulson Pulikottil

Christian preachers often focus on the younger son and overlook the elder son, the good son, in the story of the “prodigal son” (Luke 15).

The two sons were different in their approaches to life. The younger was for indulgence and instant gratification. He wanted to enjoy all that life had to offer in one sip! So, he could not wait for his father to die to get his share of the wealth. So, he walked away with his share of wealth to live the way he chose, only to find himself penniless. His misery drove him to snatch fodder from the pigs to beat his hunger. However, he repented and returned to his father.

As a loyal, hard-working son, the elder one followed his father’s business, never finding time to enjoy life. When he reached home after a long day in the field, the party to celebrate the “prodigal’s” return was already on.

The father reached out to both with equal warmth. When the father saw the younger son walking towards the house, he embraced him. He should have checked if the son was coming to ask for more money or to stay! When the servants told him that his older son was standing outside the house in protest, he went out to him in a hurry and entreated him. The father tried to convince him of the reason for the celebration.

The elder son’s worries were two-fold. First, has the younger come back to claim more of what remains? Once the younger got his due share, the rest belonged to him. Second, he learned that the father had slaughtered the “fattened calf.” In Middle Eastern cultures, affluent families always keep animals aside to be slaughtered on special occasions. He might have kept an eye on the calf as it got fatter each day, which he planned to kill a special occasion in his life, whatever it may be. Now, that is gone! That is why he shouted at the father, “You killed the fattened calf!”

His father persuaded him to come in. He assured him that “all that is mine is yours!” (Luke 15:31). Now, the calf he was waiting to eat was slaughtered. Join the party and get your teeth into your burger. The father allayed his fears about the share of the wealth and the fattened calf. Why then spoil the party?

It was a parable that Jesus used to illustrate the attitude of the Pharisees and the Jewish establishment, who grumbled at Jesus for accepting the sinners to the Kingdom of God.

Many times, we are party poopers in the Kingdom of God when we refuse to join the celebration that is going on in heaven when a sinner returns to God. Jesus reminds us: “Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:7).

When a person repents and returns to God, we refresh memories of their past—the hurts and injuries they caused, the damages of their past life, and so on, as Ananias did. When God told him to go and receive Saul, he protested: “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem” (Acts 9:13).

If we are in the complaint and blame mode, we will not be able to join the party of God to celebrate the return of the sinner to him.

But Ananias changed his mind, accepted Saul, and ministered to him. That impacted history through Paul's ministry to the church and the world. God’s return policy is very liberal. He accepts everyone who returns to him, and he expects us to do the same, joining the celebration in heaven.

Let go of resentment and comparison. If someone returns to God, celebrate—don’t stand outside the joy. Ask God for a heart that welcomes grace and joins the party.

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