Love: Falling or Choosing?

So many of us think about falling in love and finding our soulmate, but what is love? Does everyone fall in love, or is there more to it? What the world teaches us about love: An American psychologist named Dr. Robert Sternberg theorizes that love is dependent on three main things: emotional intimacy, commitment, and passion. On the other hand, movies show us stories of people falling in love at first sight without these three conditions. Although it may be possible, how does it happen in real life? Does everyone fall in love first, or does it happen over time? What the Bible teaches us about love: When we look at the two greatest commandments in the Bible, they both speak of love. The first one is “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself” (Mark 12:30—31). It doesn’t say much about romantic love, so how do we know what love should look like? How to apply Biblical love: When we think of love, we generally think of a romantic partner and a story that could sound great to tell others. But when we look at the Bible, the greatest example of love involved sacrifice and choice, i.e. when Jesus died on the cross. We see a shepherd choosing to leave ninety-nine sheep to go after one. Biblically, love can be seen as a deliberate choice. A choice to be patient, to be kind, to not envy, to not boast, to not be proud, not to dishonour others, not to stay angry and to forgive, All because the same has been done for us. A simple way to put it is to treat others the way we would like to be treated. As important as all aspects of the Christian life are, we are called to love above all else. So maybe some people fall in love, while for others, it may be something that grows over a period of time. Either way, it is a choice made at the start or a little later on, and as Christians, we are always reminded about love because God is love. (Shruthi Susan is active in her church and is passionate about the various complex issues the Christian youth face in their individual journeys of faith and growth.)