The Lodestar

The Forgotten Pillar in the Room

In many households, fathers are seen but rarely heard—not out of indifference, but due to discipline. Unlike the mother, whose love is often expressed through visible acts of nurture, a father’s love often manifests in unspoken needs, long working hours, and simple nods of approval. Society has normalised this silence, even romanticised it, yet seldom do we pause to ask: how does this silence serve us?

A child learns stability not just from bedtime stories but from the consistent turning of the front door knob every evening. A daughter measures her worth not just by her mother’s affirmation but by how her father treats her with dignity. A son learns responsibility not just from school but from watching his father fix what is broken. These quiet actions form a theology of presence, where being there is being enough.

The Emotional Economy of Fatherhood

Fathers are not emotionless—they transact emotions in a different currency. When a father quietly attends his child’s event after a long shift, it is not indifference—it is an emotional investment. When he sits in stillness after a family loss, it is not detachment—it is grief shaped into composure. The emotional weight fathers carry is often invisible, like the roots of a tree holding firm in unseen soil.

We must learn to interpret these signals. A clasp on the shoulder may be more profound than a thousand words. The father in Luke 15 did not scold or lecture when his prodigal son returned—he ran, embraced, and clothed him (Luke 15:20–24). His emotions were not verbalised but enacted in grace. Emotion in fatherhood is not absent; it is deeply embodied.

Reimagining Fatherhood Beyond Breadwinning

Traditionally, a father’s role has been confined to provision—food on the table and clothes in the closet. But provision without connection breeds absence masked as a duty. True fatherhood transcends the wallet; it reaches into the soul of the family. It listens, blesses, corrects, and uplifts.

We see this reimagined in Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. Though not biologically related, Joseph bore the full weight of fatherhood. He protected Mary, fled with his family to Egypt (Matthew 2:13–14), and quietly nurtured the Messiah. His legacy lies not in words but in decisions made in obedience and courage.

A Call to Honour the Quiet Builders

This Father’s Day, let us resist the temptation of generic gifts and rushed messages. Instead, let us remember, reflect, and speak words fathers seldom hear: I see you. I know what it cost. I am grateful. Let us honour them not for their perfection but for their enduring presence—the kind that often goes unnamed but never unfelt.

The strength of a father lies not in grandeur but in consistency. He may not write poems, but he teaches rhythm. He may not offer long prayers, but he lives them out (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). Today, let us celebrate fathers not as background figures but as the quiet architects of our generations.

(Thangchinlian Guite, with a lifelong passion for writing, finds joy in weaving his imagination into words on paper.)