The Lodestar

Christian service demands dedication, wisdom, and skill. Many devote themselves to various roles such as leading churches, preaching the gospel, teaching doctrine, singing worship songs, writing theological reflections, and praying fervently. However, one vital aspect of Christian character is often overlooked—apologising. Being able to admit mistakes and seek reconciliation is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of spiritual maturity. Jesus taught his followers to seek reconciliation before presenting their gifts at the altar (Matt. 5:23-24). Failing to heed this guidance can hinder effective ministry and harm relationships within the body of Christ.

Why Is It So Hard to Apologise?

Apologising can be challenging because it requires humility. Many fear that admitting fault will weaken their authority. Leaders who preach repentance but refuse to accept their own mistakes may appear hypocritical. Some justify their actions by citing their position or intentions rather than considering the impact of their words or deeds. However, scripture consistently teaches that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). When leaders fail to apologise, they risk alienating those they serve and misrepresenting the gospel’s message of repentance and restoration.

Biblical Examples of Repentance and Stubbornness

David, a powerful king and spiritual leader, demonstrated true repentance when confronted by Nathan about his sin (2 Sam 12:13). He did not justify or conceal his actions but admitted his fault before God and the people. His psalm of repentance (Ps 51) remains a model of sincere contrition. In contrast, King Saul repeatedly deflected blame when confronted about his disobedience (1 Sam 15:24-25). His reluctance to take responsibility led to his downfall. These examples show that genuine repentance fosters restoration, while avoiding responsibility leads to ruin.

The Impact of an Unapologetic Attitude

Refusing to apologise can cause deep divides. Church conflicts often worsen because leaders and members alike refuse to admit their faults. This goes against Paul’s warning to bear with one another and forgive as the Lord forgave (Col 3:13). A defensive stance not only harms relationships but also undermines the credibility of Christian witness. The world observes how believers manage conflict, and a lack of reconciliation can strengthen negative views of the church as judgmental rather than full of grace.

Apologising as an Act of Spiritual Strength

A sincere apology is not a sign of weakness but of spiritual strength. Jesus demonstrated humility when he washed the disciples’ feet, teaching that true leadership is based on service (John 13:14—15). Admitting fault and seeking forgiveness align with this example. Leaders who apologise set a strong precedent for others, showing that righteousness is about a willingness to grow and change, not about perfection.

Ministry is not merely about leading, preaching, teaching, singing, writing, or praying — it also involves character. Apologising is a spiritual discipline that demonstrates the gospel’s power to transform hearts. For Christian service to be truly effective, it must be accompanied by humility and a willingness to seek reconciliation. Can you apologise?

(Cynthia Ningngaih is passionate about writing and imagination. She finds joy in listening and observing the world around her more than speaking.)